Thursday, July 30, 2009

she's a man-eater...

Amber (9:18:02 PM): please help me understand why i have "maneater" stuck in my head.
Rachel(9:18:11 PM): bahaha idk
Rachel(9:18:21 PM): brb, gonna nom some fajita meat
Amber(9:18:22 PM): whoa-oh here she comes....

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

mr. sandman?

You ever have one of those nights where you get a perfectly good amount of sleep, or at least more than normal (say, 8-11 hours), and you just have trouble waking up the next day?

I mean, you lie in bed, and seriously debate with yourself how long you can stay in bed that day.

Your dreams were odd and disjointed and filled with recurring themes, and there are parts of them that seem like they are unwilling to let you go.

Maybe that makes me sound crazy, but lately my sleeping patterns have been totally whack and it's starting to cause me problems. I feel tired and out of it all day and it's just getting frustrating.

And on top of it all, my air conditioner went out for the second time this summer. Perfect.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

i'm trying not to think about tetanus.

Gouged my arm pretty good on a metal shelf at work. Bleeding and bandages ensued. It kind of itches.

Anyway I'm hoping I can run errands tomorrow- need to get some more stuff for the move. Only like 3 more weeks!!! :D

Got my new glasses today. They're pretty ballin'.

Jammin' out to The Fray.

In a cheerful-ish mood.


Sunday, July 26, 2009

and they say teenagers play their music too loud!

Things on my mind right now:

1) How LOUD my father is blasting whatever weird, dischordant concert DVD he's playing right now. I swear to God people on the other side of the street think we're murdering cats over here.

2) How I have less than a month before I get to move back to the greatest city in TX (that would be Austin.)

3) How excited I am about #2.

4) Nagging paranoia about the hassles of moving in.

5) Nagging paranoia that my life is going to go down the tubes again like it did last semester.

6) Realization that the outcome of #5 rests in the hands of one person, and I don't think it's me.

7) How tired I am all the time right now.

8) How I really am pretty much exactly like my mother thinks I am, despite all my offended raging that she doesn't know what she's talking about.

9) How bad habits really are hard to break.

10) How fucking AMAZING the movie "Orphan" was last night. Seriously, I'm still reeling from that plot twist.

There's something wrong with Esther.

AND HOW. Seriously though, I consider myself pretty damn good at figuring out plot twists and I was completely blindsided by this one. Enjoy folks. Prepare to be disturbed and amazed.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

thought popcorn.

Since I've been trapped in Missouri with essentially nothing to do except shop (which, believe me, I've taken advantage of) I've been having many strange trains of thought that really have nothing to do with anything in particular.

1) It's quite odd to think about people living everyday lives in areas which you only visit for short periods of time. Like, you never think about people LIVING in like, Montana. Everyday. It's weird.

2) How different road layouts are in other states. There are so many highways here! And they all connect strangely. I think I'd go insane if I had to drive here.

3) How picky I really am about pillows. They have to be soft, but not so soft that they go flat, like feather pillows. Otherwise I wake up cranky with a crick in my neck.

4) How often I may come off bitchy without meaning to. I have a way I believe the world works and when people stop using things similar to earth-logic I really just don't know how to respond. I don't like it when people ask me to repeat myself. I don't like being asked the same question 6 times in one day. And when people don't understand what I'm talking about, the first time, I'm essentially done talking. I also walk really fast and cannot be expected to slow down.

There were more, I'm sure, that had to do with an extremely odd dream I had last night, but I've quite forgotten it now.

Time to go waste time. 24 hours until I'm on a plane home.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009



That is all.

Should be awesome.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

I haven't geeked out this hard in years.


I mean, I'll admit that Harry Potter owned my life for the better part of this last decade. No shame whatsoever, I had me some good times. Granted, I will never share the details of those times with anyone other than the ones who shared them with me (it's a "you had to be there" thing), but still. Good memories.

Half Blood Prince comes out next Wednesday. YES. FINALLY. It's my favorite book, and if they screw it up, I will probably explode. *shrug*

I'm almost through rereading the book now, and I just keep remember how much I love it. In my opinion it's the best one of the lot.

And therefore I'm experiencing a freakout about this movie the likes of which I haven't experienced in years. It's. AWESOME.

And yeah, I'm one of those people who dresses up, and I'm bleaching my hair and going as Malfoy. Cuz I'm awesome like that, and it should be hilarious.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Dear Life,

Today I'm having problems with motivation.

No one is returning my text messages and so I'm stuck at the house by myself, all dressed up with nowhere to go.

Now, you say, why don't you just hop in your car and go do something by yourself? You are always telling me how much you enjoy alone time.

The answer to that is: I don't know. I just can't seem to get off my lazy ass and put on some shoes and get my sunglasses and put the dog up and go outside and start my car and wait for it to cool off and drive to wherever and

Do you see my point? Now, say, if someone contacted me and wanted to do something, I'd be off in a flash. I'd like to know why this is. It's not like I don't have anything to do.

Things I could do today:
1. Clean, and put away laundry. (not likely.)
2. Go hunt down things for my costume. (but that's more fun with a friend.)
3. Go shopping. (but I shouldn't spend money and that's more fun with someone too.)

Do you see my problem here? I seem to have a negative answer for everything. I hate being in moods like this. Any advice is appreciated.

Impatiently awaiting your reply,


Tuesday, July 7, 2009

thanks for the memories.

Sometimes sex is just sex. Sometimes that's all it is when you don't even make it to sex. Sometimes a kiss is a joining of two people, two hearts, and sometimes it's just four lips crashing together. Sometimes a massage is a massage, sometimes it's a diversionary tactic. But when it comes down to it, you can't look too deep into anything. I'm annoyed when people go beyond the surface meaning. Sometimes you've just gotta have that one last go to make sure you're right.

and I am.

I don't count kissing him as a mistake. Yeah, it felt good while it was going, but all the time I couldn't help thinking it was wrong. A part of me wishes is wasn't, but that part of me is stuck in the past. I can't go there again. He's not the one I'm in love with.

not anymore.

And I guess that's just the way it has to be. I'm thinking this is going to have to turn into a no physical contact of any kind situation, at least until I figure out what went through his head. But definitely never again am I falling for "let me give you a neck massage." ha. right. We've been down this path, buddy, and no matter what kind of interesting things you can bring to the table, I'm not going to fall for it again.

If this reads like a rambling, venting outpour of nonsense, that's exactly what it is. I knew, I should have paid attention. I let my guard down. Not again.