Isn't it weird...

...when something you've been thinking about shows up in a book? Almost verbatim for your thoughts?

I finished a book today called "God Hates Us All." At the very end of the novel, Daphne, says the following:

"You know why love stories have happy endings? Because they end too early. They always end right at the kiss. You never have to see all the bullshit that comes later. You know, life."

I don't think I've ever heard it said any plainer. And that's why I like reading f'ed up books about people and their lives. Because even though they're fiction, they always hold a disturbing amount of truth.

and they say teenagers play their music too loud!

Things on my mind right now:

1) How LOUD my father is blasting whatever weird, dischordant concert DVD he's playing right now. I swear to God people on the other side of the street think we're murdering cats over here.

2) How I have less than a month before I get to move back to the greatest city in TX (that would be Austin.)

3) How excited I am about #2.

4) Nagging paranoia about the hassles of moving in.

5) Nagging paranoia that my life is going to go down the tubes again like it did last semester.

6) Realization that the outcome of #5 rests in the hands of one person, and I don't think it's me.

7) How tired I am all the time right now.

8) How I really am pretty much exactly like my mother thinks I am, despite all my offended raging that she doesn't know what she's talking about.

9) How bad habits really are hard to break.

10) How fucking AMAZING the movie "Orphan" was last night. Seriously, I'm still reeling from that plot twist.

There's something wrong with Esther.

AND HOW. Seriously though, I consider myself pretty damn good at figuring out plot twists and I was completely blindsided by this one. Enjoy folks. Prepare to be disturbed and amazed.

it's about damn time.

At the moment I feel like I should have done this ages ago.

So much has happened this past semester that has changed me, the people I know, everything in my world, and I probably should have written it all down before now. So for awhile, if anyone reads this, I'm probably going to be traipsing down awful memory lane, and ranting. With some personal opinions on life thrown in now and then.

But for today we'll hold off on that.

I just spent a fair amount of time browsing the blog of an ex of mine- a blog I had never seen. Now before you start thinking I'm some kind of verifiable loony, he told me about it a long time ago and requested that I not look at it. I didn't think anything of it. Well I found a link to it on myspace earlier (yep, it IS always myspace's fault.) and decided to take a look.

Basically what I found was every negative thought he ever had about me, mixed in with a bunch of other random stuff.

The funny thing is, I'm not really offended. We were both pretty awful to each other every once in a while, and I probably *could* be described as a "neurotic high-strung whiny little girl". Or at least neurotic and high-strung, I think I've got my whining pretty much under control.

The fact is we probably should have never been together. All it ever did was send us both down an unneeded painful pathway. I shouldn't have dated him a second time, but something in my brain thought I loved him. *shrug*

I'm pretty much done with men for now though. I've got what I assume to be a steady girlfriend, although we haven't exactly discussed what our relationship consists of yet. I'd pretty much go to hell and back for her.

I HAVE gone to hell and back for her.

But you, mysterious, possibly nonexistant reader, will hear about THAT some other time, when I start chronicling Spring semester '09, or the semester from hell.

Hobey ho, let's go. :P